As an Empath, as long as you still cling to your old religious beliefs, including social customs and traditions, you are stuck in your victim role. Two classic beliefs are, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” and the another is what I call the Bambi/Thumper Syndrome. ”If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say anything at all.” If you try to be a nice, kind, caring, sharing, understanding, compromising, co-operative, understanding, good and loving person, you’re SCREWED… Did you notice the words….. :trying to be.”
The reason that you are “screwed” is because all these so called loving qualities are focused outside yourself, on another person. If you can’t give all these to yourself, first and foremost, then what you are giving yourself is the opposite of what you are giving others. Can you “feel” the love in that? What is being reflected to you is your own self-hated. I’m not saying that you need to be a narcissist to have self love, but also note that a narcissist is one of the people that will be attracted to you and will be your outer reflection. They gladly take what you give and expect more.
Oh sure, I hear you now saying that you love yourself, You eat right, look after yourself, give or do little things that make you feel good, yadda yadda yadda, but all these are mind games you play to take the focus of what you are really doing to yourself. If you can’t be REAL, you are living a lie. If, in the present moment you are not expressing your real feelings and emotions and instead, are expressing false emotions, or not expressing, just to make the other person happy. Under all this is a fear of confrontation and of anger and rage and all the other fears that go with it. Of course, afterwards, that’s a different matter as now will come your, oh poor me, denied anger and rage, withdraw and shut down, or ask yourself why this is all happening to you AGAIN.
